Vampire Bats Gain Respect Deserved

Long criticized for falling short of Hollywood’s supernatural expectations, vampire bats are beginning to gain the world’s respect after killing four and wounding hundreds in the jungles of Peru.

Vampire bats were traditionally revered for their un-godly habit of gently sipping the blood of sleeping animals, but their mystique began to fade throughout the latter 20th century. Compared to the charismatic actions of their on-screen counterparts, the vampire bat’s painless blood sucking has been rendered incredibly tame, thus leaving the actual vampire bat a supernatural disappointment.

Although rabies played a major role in the four Peruvian deaths, the vampire bat is regaining its notoriety as a bloodthirsty predator thanks to the growing number of attacks against humans throughout the area.

With luck, tales of night blood sucking will continue to escape the jungle, returning the nightmarish reputation to nature's un-holy winged mammal.