Positive News For Nov. 25th- Dec. 1st

ALLEGED COP KILLER OFF THE STREETS

Seattle residents can rest a little easier now that alleged cop killer Maurice Clemmons is no longer a threat to public safety following police action Tuesday night. Clemmons, who was wanted for the alleged murder of four police officers in the Seattle-Tacoma area, was taken off the streets within hours of being first spotted by a police officer and later identified by forensic detectives. The fear Clemmons’ manhunt caused throughout the Pacific Northwest is expected to have already dissipated greatly as law enforcement agents can assure the public that Clemmons will never again affect the community. [click here for silver lining: “Maurice Clemmons Killed”]

WHITE HOUSE OPENS DOORS TO PUBLIC

After decades of limiting access to foreign dignitaries, royalty, and other persons of highly scrutinized notoriety, the White House opened its doors to the general public last weekend allowing one lucky couple the evening of a lifetime. Mr. and Mrs. Salahi of Virginia were allowed access directly into a state dinner where they were able to meet members of the nation’s inner circle, distinguished guest from the international community and even the President of the United States. Although it is unknown if and when the White House will again open its doors to almost anyone interested in an inclusive visit, the secret service has already interviewed Mr. and Mrs. Salahi to weigh the possibility of further visits from the public. [click here for silver lining: “Dinner Crashers Shook Hands With Obama”]

TIGER WOODS SHARES SPOTLIGHT WITH WIFE

The woman who has lived the last 5 years as simply “The Wife of Tiger Woods” has finally received a name to go with her enviable marital position thanks to Tiger’s efforts over the Thanksgiving holiday. Following her media whirlwind over the weekend Elin Nordegren has gone from being simply “Tiger’s better half” to one of the most talked about women in America prompting even novice golf fans to want to learn more about her and her legendary husband. If history serves any example, Nordegren can expect her popularity to culminate with a sizable carat reminder of her husband’s affections similar to that of Kobe Bryant’s wife Vanessa. [click here for silver lining: “Tiger Woods Fends Off Mistress Rumors and Police”]