Positive News for Sept. 23rd- Sept. 29th

WATERFRONT REAL ESTATE ACCESSIBLE IN THE PHILIPPIANS

The gap between rich and poor has grown smaller in the Philippians as a new opportunity has emerged for people of all social classes to own water-front property. This organic, state-wide waterfront movement has unified Filipinos as many people now find themselves on the same economic footing as their fellow neighbors and countrymen irregardless of their previous economic standing. Government officials throughout the area are so overwhelmed by the state of economic and cultural change they have requested the assistance of other countries throughout the world to aid the public in dealing with the rapid and unexpected transition to a classless society. [click here for silver lining: “Lives Claimed By Philippines Flooding”]

AL QAEDA MEMBERS PREPARED FOR U.S. PRISON SYSTEM

The success rate of suicide attacks against the U.S. may subside in the future as a new Al Qaeda tactic prepares suicide bombers for a lifestyle in the U.S. prison system should their bomb fail to detonate. Rather than encourage potential terrorists to implement this new tactic, the procedure for success may deter suicide bombers not wishing to compromise their conservative ideals as new inmates in an all-male prison. Although the U.S. government remains the cornerstone of the west’s war on terror, stereo-types of our prison system may have also answered the call. [click here for silver lining: “Al Qaeda Bombers Store Materials Inside Body Cavity”]

PALIN MEMOIR OFFERS HELP TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has finished a 400-page memoir on her life which is expected to empower women and men alike in desperate need of a flat, heavy stepping stone in their daily lives. Titled “Going Rogue: An American Life”, the book will help Palin fans and foes alike to stand up and reach higher for goals that were previously out of grasp. Palin’s story of an Alaskan frontierswoman who rose to almost holding the 2nd highest position in the world might just be the boost lower Americans need to help them rise up a little higher. [click here for silver lining: “Palin Memoir Due Out Nov. 17”]