Positive News for Sept. 23rd- Sept. 29th

WATERFRONT REAL ESTATE ACCESSIBLE IN THE PHILIPPIANS

The gap between rich and poor has grown smaller in the Philippians as a new opportunity has emerged for people of all social classes to own water-front property. This organic, state-wide waterfront movement has unified Filipinos as many people now find themselves on the same economic footing as their fellow neighbors and countrymen irregardless of their previous economic standing. Government officials throughout the area are so overwhelmed by the state of economic and cultural change they have requested the assistance of other countries throughout the world to aid the public in dealing with the rapid and unexpected transition to a classless society. [click here for silver lining: “Lives Claimed By Philippines Flooding”]

AL QAEDA MEMBERS PREPARED FOR U.S. PRISON SYSTEM

The success rate of suicide attacks against the U.S. may subside in the future as a new Al Qaeda tactic prepares suicide bombers for a lifestyle in the U.S. prison system should their bomb fail to detonate. Rather than encourage potential terrorists to implement this new tactic, the procedure for success may deter suicide bombers not wishing to compromise their conservative ideals as new inmates in an all-male prison. Although the U.S. government remains the cornerstone of the west’s war on terror, stereo-types of our prison system may have also answered the call. [click here for silver lining: “Al Qaeda Bombers Store Materials Inside Body Cavity”]

PALIN MEMOIR OFFERS HELP TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has finished a 400-page memoir on her life which is expected to empower women and men alike in desperate need of a flat, heavy stepping stone in their daily lives. Titled “Going Rogue: An American Life”, the book will help Palin fans and foes alike to stand up and reach higher for goals that were previously out of grasp. Palin’s story of an Alaskan frontierswoman who rose to almost holding the 2nd highest position in the world might just be the boost lower Americans need to help them rise up a little higher. [click here for silver lining: “Palin Memoir Due Out Nov. 17”]

Positive News for Sept. 16th- Sept. 22th

2-YEAR DROUGHT OVER IN THE SOUTH EAST

A drought once described as ‘epic’ has finally come to an end in regions of the American South East after storm clouds moved into the area last week. After waiting for rain for close to 2 years in many parts of the region, people suddenly received more rain than they ever could have dreamed of leaving communities to decide how the water should be distributed. While the rains were most sought after by farmers throughout the South East area, the precipitative good fortune has managed to have a profound affect on everyone in the entire region. [click here for silver lining: “South East Storms Kill At Least 6”]

AMERICA/ALLIES SAFER, MISSILE DEFENSE UNNECESSARY

A Bush-era missile defense system is no longer necessary to protect America and her interests in Europe from enemy attacks as the state of America’s safety has improved throughout the world. American president Barack Obama marked the US’s safety status by moving to remove the outdated missile shield as it was intended only to be useful during a time in the past when hostilities toward America ran high. Relations between the US and countries like Iran, Russia, and possibly factions in Afghanistan could warm up as the US will no longer stand to intimidate countries from interacting openly throughout the region. [click here for silver lining: “US Replaces Bush Plan For Europe Missile Shield”]

CONSERVATIVE STATES BOAST MORE ‘LITTLE’ MIRACLES

In a new study by the Drexel University College of Medicine, an area can almost predict to be blessed with more ‘small’ miracles if it’s people embrace strong conservative religious beliefs in their early lives. The study found a formidable correlation between conservative believes and the frequency in which one of life’s greatest mysteries presents itself amongst shocked and often surprised members of the community. While the traditional belief that miracles tend to only occur in areas embracing liberal view points where they could serve as an example of the benefits of a conservative lifestyle, this study suggests it is the passionate members of the conservative community who are most likely to have their lives forever. [click here for silver lining: “Teen Birth Rates Higher In Highly Religious States”]

Positive News for Sept. 9th- Sept. 15th

YALE STUDENT MAY PROVIDE GRISHAM NOVEL PLOT

A 24-year old female graduate student could be the inspiration for a new John Grisham novel pending the involvement of her prestigious Ivy League university. The ease of Annie Le’s inter-student relationships within university buildings may provide Grisham fans with the legal thrills they crave as the reasons for Le’s lifestyle change continue to surface. The story itself, focusing primarily on the responsibilities a university must undertake for the overall well-being of its students could be aided further by adopting Grisham’s 2-word title pattern: the student. [click here for silver lining: "Yale Student’s Slaying An Inside Job?”]

KANYE WEST PIONEERS AWARD SHOW OPEN FORUM 

The standard structure of the MTV Video Music Awards has changed from a scripted award show to an improvised celebrity open forum thanks to the unceasing innovation of hip-hop’s Kanye West. During an evening that could have been remembered as just the music industry’s night honoring Michael Jackson, West challenged the rules again this time by sharing his opinion on an award’s outcome while its winner was attempting to accept it. Although the VMA’s producers, musicians, and fans were caught off-guard by West’s eye for innovation, the open forum may one day inject legitimacy into the VMAs by offering an opportunity to discuss the artistic principles behind a good video rather than the artist’s popularity.  [click here for silver lining: “West Disrupts Swift’s Speech; Tribute To MJ”]

MAN ATTEMPTS TO SPEED UP LEGAL SYSTEM

A Michigan man must wait for another opportunity to aid the state’s legal system after his attempt for a swift end to the justice process fell short of the mark.  Harlan Drake remained in correctional custody for less than 72 hours before seizing the chance to leap-frog due process in favor of a more traumatic, yet stream-lined method of justice. Drake’s attempt to skirt the legal process comes at an appropriate time as Michigan’s strain on financial means could expect to welcome any/all cuts in judicial spending. [click here for silver lining: “Suspect in Mich. Murders Attempts Suicide”]

Positive News for Sept. 2nd- Sept. 8th

GREAT WHITES IN NEW ENGLAND BRING ‘JAWS’ NEW AUTHENTICITY

 The 1975 fictional summer blockbuster ‘JAWS’ has enjoyed a deep breath of legitimacy after five great white sharks were sighted in New England for the first time in recorded history. The sharks bring a new layer of depth to the film allowing viewers, residents, and anyone who has ever visited the area the opportunity to feel like a part of the film as its events could or could have happened to them. Pending the sharks’ behavior in the New England area future releases may be aided by the pre-movie title screen update “Based On Real Events.”  [click here for silver lining: “Beaches Remain Closed As 5 Great Whites Spotted”]

OKLAHOMA DOCTORS MEET HEISMAN TROPHY WINNER

 Several Oklahoma medical professionals received the opportunity of a lifetime after hosting a surprise visit from 2008 Heisman Trophy Winner Sam Bradford. Bradford, the highly touted University of Oklahoma quarterback shocked medical personnel as he gave up his own personal time over the extended labor day holiday weekend to make his appearance at the local medical facility. Bradford went on to further surprise the hospital staff after promising further visits for the next 2-4 weeks. [click here for silver lining: “OU’s Bradford Has Sprained Shoulder]

CATE BLANCHETT BRINGS REALISM TO STAGE

Taking a page from her illustrious film career, actress Cate Blanchett brought an unfamiliar sense of realism to the Sydney stage during a contemporary performance of A Street Car Named Desire. Although the piece is regarded by some to be Williams’ most prolific work capturing the raw sentimentality of the era, Blanchett opted to push the envelope further offering the audience a performance that would blur the line between acting and living. While some critics say Blanchett’s performance pushed too hard taking audience members completely out of the world of the play, the show’s producers are confident the news of Blanchett’s performance is only going to benefit her and the show in the long run. [click here for silver lining: “Cate Blanchett Hurt On Stage”]

Positive News for August 26th- September 1st

LA WILDFIRE PROMPTS TANGIBLE CONVERSATIONS

A devastating wildfire roaring through the mountains just 15 miles north of downtown Los Angeles has provided residents a legitimate outlet for discussion not related to the entertainment industry. The fire’s obvious affect on air quality and looming mushroom cloud visible from anywhere in the city have ignited a social blaze of their own as residents discuss the real implications of the massive fire that is actually occurring just outside of several densely populated suburban areas of Los Angeles. As the wildfire continues to build despite massive containment efforts, its scale and affect on Los Angeles residents will more than likely wane in favor of fall’s television season unless it’s social dominance can be replaced by an earthquake. [click here for silver lining: “Angry Fire Roars Across 100,000 CA Acres”]

KENNEDY FULFILLS FAMILY LEGACY

The storied order of the Kennedy family has been restored with Edward “Ted” Kennedy’s departure from the political arena last week. Following the pattern 1st established by President John F. Kennedy in 1962 and later by Robert F. Kennedy in 1968, Ted Kennedy abruptly retired from political office to spend more time with his family. Although Kennedy was slow to complete the legacy started by his oldest brother almost 4 decades earlier, the belief his retirement was premature remains. [click here for silver lining: “Edward Kennedy Is Dead At 77”]

‘SUFFERING’ DEFINITION UPGRADED

The definition of the term ‘suffering’ has been improved to be synonymous with “inconvenient” after it was used to describe the hours Google users couldn’t access their email accounts. The term once meaning “to endure death, pain or distress” can now be used to take on a lighter connotation in compliance with its popular usage in non-serious situations. News affiliates around the world will need to learn of the word’s new positive definition before inadvertently describing living conditions in third world countries as “not convenient especially in giving trouble or annoyance.” [click here for silver lining: “Gmail Users Suffer Through Outage”]